When I was younger things came more easily, especially love. I questioned less. I'd fall first and then I'd eventually see the reality more clearly and then have to deal with the other person's faults and shortcomings. Problem is that by then I'd already be in a relationship.

Now I do fall, but but perhaps more slowly and with a critical mind and awareness of the other person's faults. No one is perfect, least of all me. There's always a need to elucidate was is and isn't working for me in these situations. I guess it is a matter of me putting me first and thinking about whether or not I can deal with the particulars of a situation. Or is it?

Sometimes we don't have all the answers to make a decisive decision, so how about just working through it, approaching it like a koan. Maybe there is some learning here as we break out of old patterns, drop the baggage, deal with things differently, let go and maybe we can even grow from the experience.