It used to really bother me when I'd think about how Mandarin Chinese came to be the official language in Taiwan... ok, so it still bothers me.

Growing up, I'd heard about how people were punished for and restricted from speaking Hoklo, Hakka and Aborigine languages. The Taiwanese were shamed into believing that these languages were inferior to Mandarin Chinese. After being defeated by the Chinese Communists, the Kuo Ming Tang fled from China to Taiwan in the late 1940's and instated Mandarin Chinese as the official language in Taiwan.

Ironically, Mandarin Chinese was a foreign language imposed on the Taiwanese, just as Japanese- which was imposed during Taiwan's Japanese occupation period. But now Mandarin Chinese has become the common "working" language for people in Taiwan. Years of education in Mandarin Chinese has taken its toll on generations of Taiwanese. There are concerns that Hoklo, Hakka and Aborigine languages are fading and in need of preservation.

This, I felt was poignantly demonstrated in scenes of the film March of Happiness; scenes which depicted interpreters speaking for Kuo Ming Tang soldiers to local Taiwanese.

Then I moved to Taiwan and soon realized that the Mandarin Chinese spoken in Taiwan was not quite so standard- not like what I'd briefly encountered in Chinese 101 class in university. It has become somewhat localized and b#*tardized by Taiwanese who speak it with a Taiwanese accent, drop certain sounds that require the rolling back of the tongue, and skip the habit of frequently adding "ER" to the endings of words, as they do in Beijing. And of course there are Mandarin Chinese colloquial terms which have been uniquely created and used in Taiwan. Mandarin Chinese spoken in Taiwan has come to be called "Taiwan guo yu" (which roughly translates as Taiwanesized national language, the national language of course being Mandarin Chinese).

But I still prefer speaking Hoklo with those closest to me and cringe when my mother speaks to me in perfect Mandarin Chinese.

Recently, my Mandarin Chinese teacher commented on my progress. She noted that in looking over my homework assignments, that my sentence patterns seemed kind of "Taiwanese." I'd sometimes include certain extra words in my sentences that would be used in Hoklo Taiwanese, but not likewise used in Mandarin Chinese. Funny, I didn't even realize that I was doing that! Personally, I think it says a lot about how far my Hoklo Taiwanese has come.

In general, I try not to think or write in English first and then translate into Chinese- something I strongly advise my students against doing (in reverse). When they first write or think in Chinese and then translate word for word into English - disaster ensues. So practicing what I preach, I try to write directly in Chinese- as I think something should be written or said.

Guess I'm just "doomed" to speak Taiwan guo yu.