Today there was series of things that made me reflect on a piece of advice that a wise friend of mine told me recently.
He said something to the effect that- when you make decisions, you need to not only protect your own interests first, but to think of how those around you will be affected by your decisions and choices.
This may seem like a pretty straightforward piece of advice, but it's the context in which he said it. The "people around me" that he was referring to, were those closest to me- a confidant, someone who has my best interests in mind, someone who would be emotionally burdened by my bad decision simply because they care so much about me or would want to protect me.
It made me realize that if I were faced with a decision that might or might not lead to a potentially "toxic" situation, I'd have to consider more than just how I'd deal with the consequences of my decision, but that I'd have to consider how this would impact the people closest to me- who are around and there for me day in and day out. Seeing me having to deal with a "toxic situation", might leave them feeling frustrated and powerless over my plight.
In the midst of what was happening today and having to involve someone very dear to me in a certain situation, I was reminded of this piece of advice and why it was to regrettable that this person had to be involved at all. I tried to protect them as best I could from the entirety of the situation.
He said something to the effect that- when you make decisions, you need to not only protect your own interests first, but to think of how those around you will be affected by your decisions and choices.
This may seem like a pretty straightforward piece of advice, but it's the context in which he said it. The "people around me" that he was referring to, were those closest to me- a confidant, someone who has my best interests in mind, someone who would be emotionally burdened by my bad decision simply because they care so much about me or would want to protect me.
It made me realize that if I were faced with a decision that might or might not lead to a potentially "toxic" situation, I'd have to consider more than just how I'd deal with the consequences of my decision, but that I'd have to consider how this would impact the people closest to me- who are around and there for me day in and day out. Seeing me having to deal with a "toxic situation", might leave them feeling frustrated and powerless over my plight.
In the midst of what was happening today and having to involve someone very dear to me in a certain situation, I was reminded of this piece of advice and why it was to regrettable that this person had to be involved at all. I tried to protect them as best I could from the entirety of the situation.
2 Comments:
At 4/11/2005 2:56 AM,
Laura Castelino said…
But how can you predict the way a situation is going to turn out? or in what way its going to affect people? There are infinite possibilities and a different combination of results, is it possible to anticipate all these and still make a decisions that is good for everyone?
At 4/11/2005 9:40 AM,
Feli said…
Certainly it's not possible to know exactly how a situation is going to turn out, or what's best for all concerned, and anyone who could be subsequently affected as a result...
When people think about who's going to be impacted by their decisions, they usually think about who's going to suffer physically, who are the victims, or what the damages are in concrete terms.
This entry was intentionally written as a vague reference to a specific situation, which leaves a lot of room for interpretation.
But my obscure point is that even when people know that they might be getting themselves into a "toxic" situation, even when they have considered what some of the emotional and psychological costs of a situation might be for themselves, they don't usually take into consideration how the people closest to them- i.e. the ones you confide in, the ones who give you emotional support- will by corollary, be affected.
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