Some thoughts today on relationships and trust
When one person a relationship cheats on or betrays the other, would the person wronged be able to forgive them? Can people learn from these sorts of transgressions by understanding and accepting what happened when they stay decide together? Will the relationship ever the same? Or could the relationship be saved or brought to a newer level?
For some reason these questions seemed have surfaced in quite a few conversations that I've had with close friends recently. Today I got into it again with one of my friends over IM. My friend's rule is that once there's a betrayal or breakup, you never go back. More than one person has told me that he believes that once the trust has been broken it's something that is never regained.
I don't know if I can really accept what this friend and other friends have said- that people never really forgive or that such a weathered relationship is not salvageable. I'd like to think that a person could learn from another's weakness. I'd like to think that two people in a relationship can make the choice to understand what and why it happened and then mindfully work on their relationship every day of their lives.
Then again it's such a simple rule- to just be truthful and honest, to not betray someone's trust, but sometimes the simplest of requests are so hard to honor.
I wonder.
There are just so many things that you could wonder about in a relationship- how do you really trust someone, how do people ever make relationships work, why do people get into relationships at all?
I know there's no answer to this question... but I do know that some of us foolish, some of us brave, some of us wise, some of us desperate, some of us lonely, some of us in denial, some of us pure of heart decide to take that blind leap of faith.
And that's the beauty of it- I want to believe that there are still some of us pure of heart and strong still around.
For some reason these questions seemed have surfaced in quite a few conversations that I've had with close friends recently. Today I got into it again with one of my friends over IM. My friend's rule is that once there's a betrayal or breakup, you never go back. More than one person has told me that he believes that once the trust has been broken it's something that is never regained.
I don't know if I can really accept what this friend and other friends have said- that people never really forgive or that such a weathered relationship is not salvageable. I'd like to think that a person could learn from another's weakness. I'd like to think that two people in a relationship can make the choice to understand what and why it happened and then mindfully work on their relationship every day of their lives.
Then again it's such a simple rule- to just be truthful and honest, to not betray someone's trust, but sometimes the simplest of requests are so hard to honor.
I wonder.
There are just so many things that you could wonder about in a relationship- how do you really trust someone, how do people ever make relationships work, why do people get into relationships at all?
I know there's no answer to this question... but I do know that some of us foolish, some of us brave, some of us wise, some of us desperate, some of us lonely, some of us in denial, some of us pure of heart decide to take that blind leap of faith.
And that's the beauty of it- I want to believe that there are still some of us pure of heart and strong still around.
1 Comments:
At 4/06/2005 4:50 AM,
Ren said…
Ah, very interesting questions posed, friend. It's difficult to say why we seek a relationship with another human being even when we've been hurt time and time again. Part of it, and this is my opinion, is that we intrinsically know that people are different, and that what one person did the next one may not do. Then again, we're all the same, and so we tend to make the same mistakes. Namely, we pick the same kind of people time and time again... Until we break the addiction and pick someone so different, so unique, that they are indeed THE ONE for us.
Then again we may form relationships just because we need someone to bake us a cake every once in a while... But that's just me.
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