Writer's Block

The USA is the place I was born. Canada is the place I was raised. Taiwan is the place in my heart.

Monday, April 22, 2002

Saturday, April 20, 2002

Ask and you shall receive. I recently decided that I need to be more proactive in searching for additional work so I’m taking my job search more seriously and started putting the word out there that I’m looking… and in this week alone- I’ve already spoken to four people about various job opportunities in both Kaohsiung and Taipei! But these are just potential prospects. I’m certainly not going to count my chickens before they hatch. We’ll see which ones are viable…all things considered.

I’ve decided to head up to Taipei again, just for a day on Monday since I have various commitments this weekend. The reason for the quick jaunt up there is that one of my friend’s JB* is doing a test run as a stand-up comedian. JB is always the life of the conversation and we (close mutual friends) all think that he can definitely hold his own- that he has enough to say to entertain en mass. We think that he has so much energy and entertainment value that he could channel it into a possible second career.

I for one have always thought that good comedians were very intelligent, articulate, multi-talented individuals who have a wide range of interests and knowledge, keen observation skills, and are able to synthesize many disparate subjects together in an entertaining way… and JB definitely has all of these qualities.

Just a few weeks ago when I was in Taipei hanging out on a Friday night we got into some lively conversation thanks to JB at a local bar with a bunch of friends just shooting the sh-- and downing shots. This is certainly not a typical Friday ritual- ok maybe the first part is, but not the second part- lest you get the wrong idea… and there was JB without his girlfriend who often accompanies him. So a bunch of us started to give JB the third degree because we knew that we could get our screws into him.

“Hey, JB where’s your girlfriend tonight?”
“She’s away visiting her family this weekend.”
“How long have you guys been together now? And where is this going? Where are things headed for the two of you? We love her, she’s so sweet, warm and gracious. Why isn’t she here?”

Well clearly we weren’t _really_ interested in the answers. We were just stirring the waters. When we finally relented JB responded:

“Well, yes it often seems that way, but that’s not always the case when you get home or in private. I mean, you know, I’ve gone out with my share of
B-I-T-C-H-Y women. They are demanding! They give you a hard time in public when you’re out together, and afterwards too, in private."

Then in a very loud, animated voice as he always does for emphasis,

“Okay, okay, okay, I have this theory about women. There are basically three types of women, no make that five. There are those who are seemingly
docile in public, they’re very accommodating, almost low maintenance and put up with all sorts of things in public, but when you get home they are
B-I-T-C-H-Y! You’ll pay for what happened earlier that evening. Then there are those who are just all around B-I-T-C-H-Y, you just can’t win they make your
life difficult all around. Now the ideal girlfriend is one who is docile in public and private, like Fred’s* girlfriend Jane*- not that she’s a pushover, she’s
independent, easygoing and accommodating. And then, then there are those women who are just clueless!”

Me: “Hmm so let me get this straight we have women who are seemingly docile to others, but are in fact really bitchy, those who are all around bitchy…
oh I get it so there DB, double B and double D women.”

JB: “And those who are just plain clueless and then of course there’s the elusive BD- bitchy in public but docile in private.”

After that everyone who was in on the joke just couldn’t stop making reference to our newly created classification system. It’s become quite a running joke. From there it took on a life of its own. Here are some comments from that weekend, and since then:

My ex-girlfriend was definitely a double B. Boy was that was a bad relationship.

Hey, I’d like to find woman that fits the BD profile. The elusive BD.

Know any BDs? Does that exist?

What category do you think that ------ would fall into?

Men always say that they want a D but I really think that they like B’s because they like the challenge.

Double D, double B, BD? Just what are you guys talking about?! I thought you were talking about measurements
(Whoah! That would be one lopsided…. I mean we’ve all heard that most women are not exactly symmetrical… but that would be ridiculous)

What about your mom, what category do you think she’d fall into?

And while watching Star Trek: She’s definitely a BD, well, she’s a Klingon

…. the Vice President- definitely BB!

*all names have been changed to protect the “innocent”

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